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Thursday, January 31, 2002

 
Ok I am home dead on my feet. Got alot done but still more to do... Sigh. Did 125 hours there last month (err this month still that is) Doesnt sound like alot but that was all in 6 hr incraments or so. Boy am I bushed. Gonna tivo for a bit then crash. I WILL blog tomarrow I promise
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:27 PM 9 comments

 
"Off on an other day saveing the universe"

Well today we are gonna finish up the wireing at the house. Gonna be allmost sad to see it done cause I have kinda enjoyed it. But it will be great to have it behind me.
The I am gonna go work up N for fri and Sat and take sunday off. I need some unwind time. No word from D at all this week. I guess she decided that us getting counceling is not what she wants to do. But then again she does have a few more days. Sigh. Got a storm warnign up for tonite so that should be fun as per usual. If I do not sleep this whole weekend I will be bloging alot I promise. Got so much running through my head but just been to tired to get a handle on it all. Had fun last night hung out with Jacko and watched good tv about 20 mins behind the rest of the world. Tivo is so cool, no more comercials and I can just pause and go get food or stuff. Ok poof weelaaa of and running gonna be an early start.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:30 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, January 30, 2002

 
Nother long ass work day. Gonna take a shower and then watch tv.. Good tv night. Sorry it is so boreing lately
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:06 PM 0 comments

 
"With the Tetvo chuck you can record a show and not the commercials" "What if it is like the superbowl and I just want to record the commercials?" "Then we install it upside down"

Well the weather is gonna make today FUN. But I am off and running
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:09 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, January 29, 2002

 
Pretty sad when you decide at 10:30 you just have to have home made strawberry shortcake with homemade whipped cream. Scarrier is we had everything.. any min now.. Yea Babbyyy.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:54 PM 0 comments

 
YEA BABY. Jacko bought me a Tevo. WOOHOO. no more worrying about missing the like 4 shows a week I like. Yea.. It is programming itself now.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:00 PM 0 comments

 
Worked my ass off today mostly just pissing on small fires. Had 5 crews over to the new house at once and they were in each others way alot. But should be only time it happens for a while. Got next to nothing done myself but got lots kept not screwed up for others.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:25 PM 0 comments

 
"E=MC2 Endurance = My Commitment Squared"

Well I am in fact feeling better a bit. And for a funny reason. The XGF called last night and perked me up. No it is not like I am going to go running back to her or anything, none of the reasons we/she split have changed. But damn it was realy nice to hear that someone misses me and thinks about me and cares. I do feel like a weight has been lifted and it is stupid. I am unfortunatly so sure that D is not going to let us work but at least I made a valiant effort once more before I gave up. Woke up real early but I think that is because I actually slept pretty good for the first time in a long time.
Ya know a sure sign of how depressed I have been is that I got the new ram for my comp and I have not even bothered to instal it yet. Sad huh. Oh well this spat of working all day every day will end eventually. Off to sleep for an other hour or so.
posted by Chuck Pierce 5:37 AM 0 comments

Monday, January 28, 2002

 
So in happy memories of me being a happy person I am gonna have a glass of wine and watch boys toys on History channel.
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:48 PM 0 comments

 
OK well we had our chat, and I do not know how it went sad huh. What I basically said is and I did phrase it a little bit better I think, if she wants us to be together she can make it happen, untill she wants it to be it wont happen. So i said she can take a week and find us a couples counsler or consoler, you choose. She brought up a bunch of reasons why she couldnt and I think I got the point accross that if she wants it to happen it will. If she doesn't then I am gone. I just can't handle this anymore. Can't sleep, can't eat, can't be. Not saying I will disapear forever but I am not going to be engaged to someone who I am not even welcome to see. So screw it, life is to short. She is all that I want but I am not going to continue to destroy myself to get her.
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:46 PM 0 comments

 
Honestly, I thought I had already hit and went through the low point. But guess what, it can in fact get worse. I went over tonite and picked up basically everything that was over at D's that was mine. She had it all boxed up and in a corner, oh so nice of her. She was NOT wearing her ring, but she said it was because she was retaining water or something. I am going to talk to her at 8:30 and tell her what my plan is. It will be interesting to see how it goes. Fish or cut bait time. I was just made so much lower by the IF he was so glad to see me. Wanted to show me everything he had made in the last week and told me he wanted me to become happy. Ok. Well . Hmm. Good news is i picked up my long guns from where they were all stored while I was over at the Landlordies place. He had asked me to store em so I did no problem. But now I can have em back again. And yes I was amused that I waited an hour for her to get home with like 10 guns in the back of the car. HEHEH coulda been messy, but luckly even though I was voted mostly likly to walk into a Kmart with an assult rifle by all my old neighbors I dont work that way. It is much easyer from say 200 Yards.. No ok that really was a joke and a bad taste one even, especially at this point. Even though I had a car load full of guns there was not a single round of amunition in the car. So anyways, tonite I am gonna unviel the grand plan and we shall see just how much she hates, alot I will bet. But the good news is its my last effort so if she doesnt want to play nice I am just gonna work on being the best absentey father I can be.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:59 PM 0 comments

 
"All you can do is all you can do"

Well after putting some serious skull sweat into it I think I have decided how I am going to handle D, and the relationship that isnt and all that. I should probably tell her first though. So sorry for the teaser but you are gonna have to wait for it. It is amaxing how tired and run down I am. The accident really wiped me out more than I thought it would. Going and superviseing was not a great idea cause that tired me out too but I needed to be there. So off we go on an other day in the life.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:59 AM 0 comments

Sunday, January 27, 2002

 
Nother long ass day. We got some stuff moved though at least. TFR got his rental, is a Focus heheh He wanted one so I reserved one for him. What else.. 3 hour talk with D last night. I am now more depressed than ever, but I wont bore you all with details yet. Still mulling things over in my head. All in all though I think the future is getting bleaker day by day and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:49 PM 0 comments

 
"There has to be a silver lining somewhere"

yea well be interesting to find it. Long talk with D last night and things got worse instead of better.
Ok well today is going to be very wierd. Going to work for a few hours and then going to get the rental car for TFR. I can't do anything at work really but point alot. But thats better than nothing.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:23 AM 0 comments

Saturday, January 26, 2002

 
Well went over and pointed and stuff for the day. Now I am going to crash. I am so tired.
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:11 PM 0 comments

 
"I am sorry Dave, but I can't do that"
Tried to watch 2001 space odessy last night. It was SO boring compared to the book i just could not stay awake. Course i am haveing a hard time staying awake period. I just wilted 1/2 through yesterday. But hell I am still alive. Last night was also amuseing. Ok now folks I have a firm no calls after 9 pm rule. Exeptions are of course if your bleeding or it is very important. Well my big bro called last night at 10 ish and woke me up. He had just heard I was hurt and that was very cool of him. So no worries, Technically I could have still been bleeding so that was cool. AMuseing part was I got an other call from someone who should have known better while I was on the phone with him. But that was ok too. Today I think I am going to go and be useless. So much of the new house is stored up in my head that they really need me. I can not do alot but I guess I can go and point to stuff and so forth. Course I have to figure a way to get there first.. sigh.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:40 AM 0 comments

Friday, January 25, 2002

 
LOng day, and I am dragging. Feel like a punching bag still. Did pretty good for a few hours then I just deflated like a balloon. Time to crash, opps bad word choice.
Oh and insurance companies suck. Were getting a run around. Bad idea cause it costs em lots every time I get annoyed, they just don't know it yet.
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:41 PM 0 comments

 
Well got a pretty good 12 hours of sleep. Feeling alot better though still a bit like a used punching bag. It could have been much worse. Today I have to deal with getting TFR a rental and all that.

We could not get him one yesterday because they did not have any. WTF is the point of being a rental car place and not actually haveing any cars available. To me that is numb. So off I go to make sure the insurance CO is all set on this crap. What a pain in the butt.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:31 AM 0 comments

 
"If you are traveling 45 MPH in a northerly direction, and you meet a car going 7 mph in a westerly direction, and your car is dark green then what is the price of a bag of Maine pataoes in Boise Idaho?"

Nice little logic ? to start off your day. Ok lots to say, but um how do I phrase this, typeing frigging hurts. I am up to take a pill, and I have to eat something before hand so it does not eat my stomach from the inside out. BVut I will give you this small sample of how yesterday went.

Ok I broke/sprained my wrist. Safe to say sprained cause I feel ALOT better with it now than I did. But yesterday it was really painfull. So anyways, alltold I think I was asked to sign 25 pages of paper yesterday. Um folks, I CAN'T WRITE. Simple concept I write rightt handed, and I have no right hand right now.. So NO SIGN IT YOURSELF. Ok as you can see this pissed me off. Even the frigging paramedics who were very nice wanted me to sign 3 things. All in all it might have been easyer to have been dead. But that is an other rant. So ok time to pop a Cyclobenzaprine... I love pills with a Zap in their name... And more typos than usuall I am sure, left hand typing so deal with it....
posted by Chuck Pierce 1:37 AM 0 comments

Thursday, January 24, 2002

 
OUCH OUCH OUCh and a final OUCH
Well today it is safe to say sucked. I totaled TFr's car. And yes I was in it at the time. I got creamed. I either broke my arm/wrist or came close to it. Dealers choice. airbags, boom, pain ambulance whole 9 yards. I will post more later. If I am able to see after I suck on these drugs
posted by Chuck Pierce 4:42 PM 0 comments

 
"Behind every great man is a great woman. I am not a great man"

Up an dalive early. With a headack. I hate it when I wake up with a headack. I can't eve spell it can I.
Not sure what I am doing today. Either the run or up N... But forgot to check with TFR to figure out what he wanted to do. NP I will gladly go up N today. Yesterday I did the run so I could go work on the new house. But I don't have the energy today.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:49 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, January 23, 2002

 
Long ass day. But I made it through it. At the finishing end of the wireing now.. Woohoo.
Jacko is cooking dinner, should be ediable I hope, then it is good tv night, Yea. no news on my new ram yet. Ill give them till tomarrow to ship and then I will call and bitch.
Ok well food,tv, then sleep of death.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:16 PM 0 comments

 
"No one will ever need more than 128k of ram"

Wel except that is keeps booting in 9 after a shut down, we are doing well with X. Heck I even got clan lord running on it. Guess it is back to work day. Blown off working on the new house for the last few days, I needed some recover time. But today it is supposed to be nice so back I go. OK well time to get this puppy to boot on x again.. And figure out why after a shutdown it comes back in 9.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:49 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, January 22, 2002

 
Ok well I am not happy. Ipict does not like all my old pictures.. Sigh so I have to convert em all. Very annoying. And it has a problem when you dump folders inside folders on it. .Grr. Anyways,
D callled and we chatted for a bit. nothing exciting but not any arguments either.
Forgot to say the XGF called last night and set up an apointment to make an apointment to get together and talk about something... hehe so wierd it is funny. I hate it when people do that. Anyways,
Gonna crash early today I hope. Lotso swimming today. I did not do an awflull lot but I was cramping in my legg so I just did it for 30 mins or so. But good exersise non the less. Ok time to crash for the night if I can.
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:55 PM 0 comments

 
Ok folks, we are jamming. I got it to work.
Ok now I know there are non intelegent people reading this, Oh I mean PC users, but this is an effort.
Don't get me wrong, I am sure instaling X is easy on a nice new G$ but I do not have one. No I am installing X on my 9500 with duel mons, 36 gig internal, 134 megs ram, g4 350 sonnet card. Ok and well it is like trying to get windows XP on a pentium 1 50 mhz. It can work but they try not to let you do it. So anyways it has been a two day project and has kinda sucked. Time involved is probably 8 hours and 50 reboots. Normally a mac software instal is one reboot and 30 mins. Anyways, I got it to work, and it was a pain but there it is. And it is fast. More than fast enough so far. Unfortunatly I am useing Exploder right now, I am going to give it a good honest try and not assume that since microcrap sucks then so will exploder. So far so good. But gonna be a pain to get all my links back. Grr. Anyways, unless someone really wants to know I am not going to do a play by play on the instal, just accept that it was not fun.
posted by Chuck Pierce 5:07 PM 0 comments

 
I am on X. Much more on subject later.
posted by Chuck Pierce 4:36 PM 0 comments

 
"Sometimes getting ahead is going backwards."

Well I am up and moveing. Gonna swim this morning after the run since they were closed last night. Or thats the plan at least. We shall see.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:44 AM 0 comments

Monday, January 21, 2002

 
Ok well my email is down, NFC what thats all about. But I just went and read and posted to all the comments on here. Wow was a lot of em today to.. TFR was bored I would say. Well we did not go swimming. We were ready to when I realised it was a holiday.. opps. So we ate chowder and hung out for a bit now I am back cleaning. Yee haa.
And then I am gonna fix my email... Somehow
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:57 PM 0 comments

 
OK small nap now back to cleaning and then I am gonna cook some Chowdha. First time cooking on the new stove and so forth. Well new stove, but it is an old POS just first in new house. Pretty sad I have been here a week and this is the first time I have been here for either a lunch or a dinner. Been a crazy sched latly. Tonite Jacko and I are gonna go swimming. There is a comunity pool just a mile or so awayish. Jacko goes alot and I need some non joint pounding exercixe. Ill bet it is cold as hell though. ANYWAYS, think I am gonna start a chowda and then clean. The vacume will wake him up but thats ok he got a few hours of sleep and it is good for him to not get much. heheh Evil cackle. Either that or he need a daytime job and not 3rd shift.
posted by Chuck Pierce 5:42 PM 0 comments

 
Well, I sure as hell created a major mess. Got most of the pain off two doors. Of course since it is chilly outside I did them hanging in place. heheh the chips are scattered 20 ft in all directions. Oh well. Guess I should vacume.. naa I am gonna take a nap. it is a day off after all.
posted by Chuck Pierce 3:45 PM 0 comments

 
ok screw X. this is not happening.
I am cleaning the house.,
Um well if you take scraping all the doors and spreading chips over the whole house as cleaning
posted by Chuck Pierce 2:51 PM 0 comments

 
OK well I am getting no where. I can get all the way to chooseing the disk to instal on and then it wont let me instal on any of my disks. GRR. I guess I am going to have no choice but to try to install X then the update to .1. What a pain in the ass. We made a 10.1 install cd but I guess the drives are not prepared right or something.. NFC
Sigh. Back to it. Anyone have a clue call me...
posted by Chuck Pierce 1:40 PM 0 comments

 
two qoute day...
"(Me) Why is it so cold up here?""(Jacko) it isnt cold you pansey, it is uhh 61.5 in my bedroom. Hey Why the fuck is it so cold up here"

Sigh, Life it the Reality distortion field
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:55 AM 0 comments

 
"Quality with a K"

Grug, tired and ugly but I am alive I think. And I am takeing the day off. Screw it. Time to clean here and I am gonna do the nasty nasty job and put a new system on. Yes I am gonna try X. Might be all day just installing it.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:27 AM 0 comments

Sunday, January 20, 2002

 
"Help I am stuck in Jacko's distorted reality bubble"

Long ass day. Blogger was down this morn thats why no post. Spent the whole day working on the house. Proggress is being made at least. Ok it is CLEAn time. or organise at least. Most everything is still in boxes but I need to orgaise.. tonite and tomarrow moring is out aside for it.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:40 PM 0 comments

Saturday, January 19, 2002

 
OK well that was a dismal disapointment.
D says she feels like she is coming down withthe flu so me staying over was not a good idea. Ok then. I am completly accepting that at face value. They were very nice flowers to and in a big cup. Sigh. And of course it was snowing like a bastard on the way home and the driveing sucked bad. Would have been mildly amuseing if I got into a big car accident.. but just mildly. So anyways, that plan failed so no clue what to do from here.
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:00 PM 0 comments

 
Ok time to head for home. Errr Work that is. So then it is time to go and freeze and run more wire. Or today we might actually run radiant tube for heat. Ok well allmost time to go . Poof.
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:47 AM 0 comments

 
Bah Bah just thought I would touch on the people as sheep concept again. I was at a Mc Donalds the other day getting my morning Orange Juice. Sitting in the drivethrough with 4-5 other cars i watched as a Fed EX van pulls up blocking the drivethrough and goes in to get something signed. Well, everyone just sat there. Waiting for this moron to move his van. I gave it 2 mins and then got out and went in. I politly explained to the idiot driver that if he did not move his van to any of the 50 odd parking spaces I was going to ram his van into next week. No one else said anything, just sat and watched.
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:33 AM 0 comments

 
Well lots of people looking in, but few comments on the ? I posed last night. Hmm Ya bunch of panseys.
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:20 AM 0 comments

 
Well I am allmost awake, but I really don't want to be. Damn the sun. Sigh. Ok well gonna try and nap for a bit.
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:38 AM 0 comments

 
It is hard to be a god when you are surrounded by medocrity

This is just wonderful, I can't frigging sleep. Unbelievable. Well least I am here till noon so i can nap.
posted by Chuck Pierce 12:00 AM 0 comments

Friday, January 18, 2002

 
Ok here is the plan. Simple and sweet.
I am gonna pull a Jackoism. And that in itself is funny. Takeing advice about women from Jacko is like getting it from TFR. Niether of which have had a serious girlfriend whos name I can even remember.

Ok but that aside, here is the plan. And you have till noon tomarrow to comment on it.
Since D rarley comes here I am safe in planing this out. Ok so Tomarrow afternoon I will call and tell her I am planing on comeing over if she wants me to. I am assumeing that is a yes. So I am gonna show up with flowers and pretend the last few weeks have not happened and that she is the most important thing in the world to me. This will either work or it wont. if it doesnt at least I tried. Yes I know I need to stop caveing and prtending it is all me, but I think I need to just give her latitude while preggers and nuts. So lets just wipe the slate and I am gonna try not to get upset or allow stupid shit to make me mad. If htis doesnt work then I prob will give up, but I think it deserves at least one more major try.
So tell me your thoughs. Any other sugestions? Oh and shut up Rev Doc. hehe I know what you allways say when women are involved.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:31 PM 0 comments

 
Ever feel old? Nonsuch just posted they had some new links so I roamed for 10 mins. I Damn but they are all in school still.. Sigh. Well enjoy it kids, it only goes down from there. Of course I say that cause for the first time in 15 years I am working alot. heheh And I am mind you, it is scary. I think I am doing about 60 hrs of work a week. My normal is 15-25. So this is like tireing. And since so much of it is work on the new house it is VERY tireing cause I work my butt of there.
My sister was asking about why I am working on the house and all that. No I am not gonna live there, and they are just friends. I charge them for my time, though it is mostly a token charge. It is about 1/2 of what it should be, but that is not the point. These are the people who when I neeeded a place to sleep for the night opened up the inlaw aprt over their garage and made me welcome. They did NOT need to do that and they really did make me a family member. So anyways, I know that if I needed a hand they would come through, cause they have before. So I can do no less but help them with their new house. And I have been a help I am really good at this crap, I used to do construction and I could make alot of cash at it if I wanted but it HURTS. People actually expect you to work hard and strain and stuff. So anyways, i have made them change quite a few things in the new house all I think for the better. And though we joke that I am just the JOAT (Jack of All Trades) and a brain dead laborer they really do listen when I say something. And it is going to be a REALLy nice house, shame about the color though. (hehe priv joke)
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:19 PM 0 comments

 
Well I am bored. I was gonna bring a book, but I have NONE at the new house and I am not really sure Jacko can read (joke). So, even though I am now somewhere I can put my books, I have not had the time yet to grab any. I was gonna play ClanLord, but I can't log in. Either I forgot my passwoprd, or they are haveing tech problems. TV sucks, and I have read this paper from like nov left up here so I am now bored silly. Guess I will ahve to go roam the net and cause havok.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:59 PM 0 comments

 
Well I actually took a nice nap this afternoon. Needed that. Doing some major thinking about our relationship or lack thereof latly. Have yet to come to any substantutive conclusions yet. But I think I am slowly working around to looking at things in a new light. Damn it I only live once, I need to let things roll off me better.

Oh BTW here is a absolutly GREAT formula for gas. 1/2 a bag of dried apricots, bout a pound of seedless grapes, and about 3 cups off cheez-its. Man works like a charm.
posted by Chuck Pierce 5:34 PM 0 comments

 
BTW an other week and an other missing key on the KB. I swear TFR eats the frigging things. The rev doc has an incredable tendancy to explode electronic items. Seems that TFR has the same feeling for plastic.
posted by Chuck Pierce 1:49 PM 0 comments

 
Oh god, the end of the world as we know it has came.
Yes I hope you are sitting down. I am doing a crossword puzzle. Now first off it should be illigal for someone with my grasp of spelling and grammer to do a crosword puzzle. And it should also be illigal to creat one that i can actually do. But be that as it may I am about 1/2 way done withthe stupid thing. Be scared, be very very scared.
posted by Chuck Pierce 1:38 PM 0 comments

 
OK I just cant help but get in trouble for this one.... Redheads

Ok well napish time. I think. Sigh.
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:07 AM 0 comments

 
BTW I stole that link from one ov my readers. So go search my fav links to find out which
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:18 AM 0 comments

 
"I will not use a firearm. I know this is Arizona and it's probably legal (and encouraged) to use guns to take care of any household problem, It's just I don't want
to destroy a part of my apartment. "
Sorry to understand that qoute go here... Mouse War
God I feel like crap this morning, I hurt pretty bad on my feet. Luckly I now have a day of down time before I go back to work on the house. Got alot of hours in to the place so far but I am looking forward to it being done.

No news on the women front, no call last night from her. I am gonna think about stuff today.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:17 AM 0 comments

Thursday, January 17, 2002

 
I am exausted. Just got home. Long long day. Ran a pile more wire. I in fact broke one mile today of wire run. Lots more to do though. Tomarrow I head up N for the weekend so lots o posting I am sure. For now I am to tired to make it to my bed and might sleep in my chair.
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:45 PM 0 comments

 
"Work your fingers to the bone and what do you get? boney fingers..."
Well I am tired this morn, slept ok but I hurt all over mostly. Screw it I am still gonna go over to the new house and work today we got so much to do. On that note I have so many great stories to talk about, everything from the fed ex driver with 1.5 braincells, to the house colors some people choose. But alas, time is just not with me yet. So tomarrow hopefully when I am up N I will be able to rant a bit.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:01 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, January 16, 2002

 
Well long ass day. Worked till 6:30 at the new house. Just got in and about to crash and watch Good TV Night. Got 90% of my stuff here now or more. Just a few small things left no big stuff. We are never gonna make the deadlines at the new house, but it wont be caujse of me, I am gonna kick butt over there till it is done. In theory at least. Anyways, sorry no posts today, left the house at 7:15 and got back at 7:45 12.5 hours later.
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:02 PM 0 comments

 
"Cigarets smell gross"

Grug. Sleept ok but woke up way to early as per usual. House was quieter then I was afraid so that worked fine. I am just strung out over the D issue. She is seeing someone and I guess it helps some but we still ahve the same issues. It is like I am talking in latin and she is in spanish. The words just do not translate. Yea no one cares but it is driveing me nuts.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:30 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, January 15, 2002

 
Just had an allmost 3 hour conversation with d. issues solved, none. issues raised 100's. Who is at fault me I am sure. Where do i go from here? Omn with my life I guess.
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:02 PM 0 comments

 
Well go tthe bed set up. Have not brought my waterbed down yet, minor concerns over the house collapsing. Well I am not concerned but others are.. Hmm so what else is happening, Um getting email bounces for Doc from RR. I think they are haveing trouble with .info sites all of a sudden.. Wierd. But it is amuseing. ok well I am a tad bored but under control. got SO much cleanig to do it is scary. But we are getting organised.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:15 PM 0 comments

 
Well I am here.. No desk or chair, but I am here. Still got loads of little crap and some cleaning up to do but I got most of it. Woohoo. Email is back up and it is nice and quiet here after all. So all is well.
posted by Chuck Pierce 4:02 PM 0 comments

 
OK well here we go. Power downish time. Next postings will prob be from the new house....
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:42 AM 0 comments

 
"This too shall pass"

Well I slept better last night, woohoo. Tis about time. I guess today I will move the rest of my crap over to the new place. Should be fun at least.. NOT its snowing again but we are only getting a few inches. But woke up at 5 and can't seem to go back to sleep. Annoying.
It should be good for me though, more likly to be active than here. Looking forward to going swimming on a reg basis and working off some flab.
posted by Chuck Pierce 5:37 AM 0 comments

Monday, January 14, 2002

 
Well went over and figured out where I am going to put stuff and so forth. Then i went shopping for some stuff at AMES. They are closeing the local store so some nice discounts. Still spent 200$ though. Sigh. Well I think i am gonna start moveing tonite. Dont know if I will get it all but gonna get a hunk of it I think. Yea Ha. I will miss this place but I need some space to unwind in.
posted by Chuck Pierce 4:20 PM 0 comments

 
"Moveing is such sweet sorrow"

Getting ready to move, it is not like it is far or anything but it will be a new mental start. Did not skeep wport a crap last night, to sore I guess. I sure do ache everywhere. Ok well allmost time to hit the road. Swapped sceds with TFR today so I can in theory go work out at the house this afternoon. See if I hurt to much.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:20 AM 0 comments

Sunday, January 13, 2002

 
Long ass day. Got quite a bit done including I built a wall. Woohoo. Oh and I forgot to say I bought a new hammer yesterday. Few things are as satisfing as a new Estwing. I really like a good hammer. So anyways, long day got a bit done though. D caled and said she did not feel like talking tonite. Hey I do not allways feel like talking so that is fine with me. So no news on that front. other than that, I just tired and beat. So I guess it is bed time. Say goodnight gracie.
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:34 PM 0 comments

 
"Quit your crying- Lifes a bitch, get a helmet" Great comment sent in late last night. Thanks Bro for your support. hehe no I was amused.

Well I just made a really big post and then netscape crashed. My bad I did something it could not handle. I am up and sad and hurting. But that is ok. I think loosing the post was a good idea anyways cause it would have just gotten me in more trouble I am sure. I am just looseing hope that we are ever going to be together and happy, I have actually considered if maybe I should just go the fuck away till after she has the baby and renters the human race. But anyways, for all those of you complaining about my whining, Here Now shut up. I have really been obsessing about stuff she said last night. The whole conversation was about why did I say this and why did I say that and she didnt even have what I had said right. Ok Ok Ok I have to let this crap go. It is not fair of me to expect her to let go of this crap when I do it to once in a while.
Ok well I hurt like hel, but screw it I am gonna goto work and do some stuff. Till I drop probably...
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:10 AM 0 comments

Saturday, January 12, 2002

 
ok I am going to bed. once again alone, once again depressed. Jesus I wish she would just kick me in the nuts once in a while that only hurts for a few hours.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:02 PM 0 comments

 
Mikey wants to know was it bad news or what. Um how about or what. She does not know what she wants to do. It basicaaly boils down to that. I'm hostile and pissed and really sick of people adding things to what I say. Here
She says she thought I was saying I was going to take the Baby from her. Thats NOT what I said. Ok you can get mad at me for what I say, but I am still a bit steamed that she got mad at me for soemthing I did not say and wanted me to be sympathetic. Sigh. I really want this to work, but I am looseing faith so fast it is scary. She wants us to slow things down, she has said it repeatedly. But I really can not get a clarification on that. I don't know, I really want this to work, but I can only be what she wants me to be if she tells me. I am so tired and so depressed I just want to sleep. So she is going to call me tomarrow and we will continue on from there. the future looks like shit though. seems all we can do is argue and mostly about stuff I never said, never implied and would never say. I mean how am I supposed to feel. it was VERY hard for me to ask her to marry me, Not because of her, but me. I am terrified of commitments they freek me out. So I did it, I thought long and hard about what I wanted to have happen and with who and I asked her. Less than a month later she says she just wants to date me. The wedding has not been called off. Nor will it be by me. She has to decide what she wants and if she wants me to be a part of it. Till then I am just a fucking spectator.
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:46 PM 0 comments

 
Wow, I am stuffed. Absolutly stuffed. Ate like a pig. Good thing to cause I hurt alot. This old body is wearing out to fast at times.
Talked to D. For about 20 secs but it was communication. I guess I should call her now, but I allways think it is going to be bad news or soemthing. Sigh Ok Ok Ok Fine I am dialing.
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:44 PM 0 comments

 
Worked my butt of today. Tried to call D and talk but she was not home. Since she hasnt called back figure she is busy. Nother long day but landlordess made Corn Chowdha for dinner COOL BEANS. So I am out of here for a few hours.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:15 PM 0 comments

 
OK well I guess the plan today is to go work on the house. Didnt sleep worth a crap and my wrist is bugging me so don't know how much help I am gonna be. And I guess it is time to end the suspence and call D. She sent me an email yesterday say again I could call, but I don't have to if I don't want to. um...ok. Course I got the email at midnight. growl...
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:08 AM 0 comments

 
Mac cluster achieves 233 Gigaflops
Researchers and staff at USC and UCLA have achieved a milestone for cluster computing and the Macintosh platform, achieving 233 Gigaflops on a Macintosh cluster. Using AppleSeed software, a project begun by UCLA physics researchers in 1998, researchers found no evidence for an intrinsic limit to the size of a Macintosh cluster, indicating that "Mac clusters have excellent potential scalability." The tested environment included 56 dual-processor G4/533s and 20 dual-processor G4/450s connected via a large 100BaseT switch.\

Stolen blatently from Macnn. But WOW, Mommy can I have one for christmass????
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:00 AM 0 comments

 
Ok lets get a t1 and put 12000 customers on it, they don't really need bandwidth.

RR has been down all day.. No new access AARG. Can't sleep but gonna try again. If you sent me an email this after noon I did not get it till 3 mins ago.
posted by Chuck Pierce 12:50 AM 0 comments

Friday, January 11, 2002

 
Ok back home. If I am gonna move next week i guess i should clean all the crap up around here, so thats the plan for today. Clean and organise. Oh Yeaa. So much fun. Jacko and annoying John went down to the candy store in Nh (Ham Radio Outlet) so I am haveing them pick me up some crap while they are there too. So I can get HF running over at the new place and some new speakers for my Car. Ok Clean, we must clean.. No we must get itunes to work first.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:57 AM 0 comments

 
Ok that was from TFR. Now the amuseing thing is of course that if A = B and B= C then A = C. Therefore every rock song starts with the same riff.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:20 AM 0 comments

 
"All Chuck Berry songs start with the same riff. All of rock and roll is Chuck Berry."

Ok I will explain that qoute later... Awake at 4 am again, it is getting to be a habbit again. annoying habbit to.
posted by Chuck Pierce 4:29 AM 0 comments

Thursday, January 10, 2002

 
Something that has been bugging me. D went out to dinner with her folks and I was not invited. Do you think she told them why? Did I do something wrong? Yea I wanted it to much.
Did they ask? did she say he was to intense? I have never really cared what other people think alot. But well that bugged me. I have a feeling she just gave no info. But still, it hurts to think I lost out on all this time of our lives cause I wanted it to much.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:29 PM 0 comments

 
Well TFR was right. he picked it. I do not remember who D picked but I lost cause I said Tom. And yea I am pissed they tricked us and were in LA for the last one. That was just sneaky. But I am gonna try to stay up and watch the rest of it, cause WTF lasted this long might as well see the end. it is funny, first version I watched with the XGF religously. #2 I watched alone mostly. This one I have watched with D either on the phone on in person. Sigh. Guess I am not the survivour.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:03 PM 0 comments

 
Ok the whole months of wathing surviour just became worth it with Kelly's vote.. HAHAHHAHA the Graduate. HAHAHAHHA that cracked me up big time. HAHAHHAHA
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:51 PM 0 comments

 
Ok last vote who will it be. Time for a female winner. we shall see.
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:14 PM 0 comments

 
YEA YEA YEA LEx is hasta. was a dumb move cause everyone hated him, but still he was an ass.

I miss D. But she it seams does not miss me. Yet an other night alone.
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:07 PM 0 comments

 
OPk well I am home with TFR watching survivior. I feel like it is my life these last months and that I lost. Sigh. Went out for Chineas with TFR and Landlordess and kiddoes. Had great fun and every one picked on me. NBD.
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:20 PM 0 comments

 
OK well I sent an email to D. She replied she was going out to dinner but I could call or stop by after that.
Why do I feel like the lase fare answer was an answer. Sigh. Now what do I do. This relationship with someone elses rules that I do not understand sucks.
posted by Chuck Pierce 5:06 PM 0 comments

 
Well home from work up N early so gonna go run wire at the new house. After I send an email. Grovel grovel grovel
posted by Chuck Pierce 1:21 PM 0 comments

 
Well blogger is back up and running haply. Blogger BTW is what I use to make this journal. When it is down I can not post real easly.
What else is going on. Well tonite is Survivour night. The last of the series. Sigh. I allways watch them with D, cept one before last when I was just to tired or pissed or both. But I have not talked to her since last weeks edition. Sigh. I guess I should call her, but I just havnt felt right doing it. Or I could email her assumeing she even checks her email. I do not think she is even coming on here latly. Or she sure isnt commenting. I really need to talk to her before I tell Jacko I am going to move in. Or ask her permision or something. Other than that I almost slept well last night. Mom had some ideas on how to make the bed a little warmer and they worked a bit. Still woke up hypothermic though. The other idea I had was that if I move in with Jacko I can babysit the kids (doggys) if the XGF ever has to leave fo r afew days or something. Maybe I could even have visitation on weekends withthem and keep em over night. Ok yea it would screw em up a bit prob, but I really miss my babbies. Unquestioning love is not something you get alot in this world. Except of course from my wonderfull mother. Hmm other news from the family. Not alot. Glen changed internet providers and sent me an email telling me. Suprising but not exactly a big deal. Was nice for him to inform me, but he had only emailed me once and that was with a bitch letter so I was not exactly trying to commit his old address to memory. But still was nice curtosy of him, and so I will add him to my family list once I remember. Not that I send out alot of emails to my family. What else Oh I gave mom a new email address, she wanted one she could give to people and not be to upset if they spamed it. Places like Banks and other crap. So I gave Mom, Mom...pretty tricky huh? I offered the rest of the family address's but they did not seem to feel the need. Dumb in my opionion since it is nice to have an email address that never changes. And um, I don't think I am gonna change my name soon. But I think they worry that people will then find thins place, like anyone should care. Anyways, up at work for the morning. Kind of a break even day. If I work up here I make $12.50 more than if I did the run and I work till 3:30 ish includeing drive time. But heh, life goes on. And it is good for me to work past 11:00 once in a while.
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:25 AM 0 comments

 
"Yeild ahead"

Ok walking, shower, work. Grunt.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:49 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, January 09, 2002

 
Ok this Friends commercial - tease is pissing me off. Ya know the one where they have been friends forever and she is preg and they do not know what to do. I don't know if I should cry, puke or beat the TV senceless.
Growl
Great TV tonite. 3 full laughs out of west wing and 2 for ED. for me that is a GOOD night. I do not laugh aloud alot. It amuses me how much I can watch the democratic brainwash of westwing and enjoy it so much. You poor democrats, so misguided...
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:06 PM 0 comments

 
Well Blogger has basically been down all day. Pain in the ass. Trying to enjoy Good TV Night. but it lacks some of the apeal tonite. Had my self an amusing partly homemade Pataoe soup for dinner, and sat down to watch sienfeld and the soup natzi completly by accident. Amused the hell out of me. I do not get enough things to be amused by latly. Ok well lets see if Blogger will post this now.
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:58 PM 0 comments

 
Well called my Momy and chated with her for a bit. She is much happier now that SS has finally fixed the problems so her checks should be correct. Other than that I am bored. Finally have some time with nothing to do, and well I am bored. Sigh.
posted by Chuck Pierce 4:58 PM 0 comments

 
Ok well time to head home. So off and running.
posted by Chuck Pierce 2:52 PM 0 comments

 
Playing Clan Lord.. Rare. I have spent like no time playing in months. But fun, on a good group hunt in the Valley. Some of these people are SO STRONG compared to me. It is scary. oh well. It is fun when you are with a group.
posted by Chuck Pierce 12:25 PM 0 comments

 
"><(((°>
Isnt asci art fun... NOT
posted by Chuck Pierce 12:06 PM 0 comments

 
Wow I really am surrounded by morouns. The cable people just stopped by to turn the cable off. The stupid trust did not pay the bill. Unbelieveable. It is not like they do not have the money. But they just HATE to give it out. The mind boggles. I was able to hold em off for now. But they willbe back if it does not get straightened out. I remember the days of waiting and hopeing they would not show up till I got some $. Hell I remember the power folks comeing now and then. Damn it is nice to have money in the bank. Though that being said, it isnt much. I spent way to much for Xmass.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:16 AM 0 comments

 
On that note, I think I am also gonna move in with Jacko pending finally arangments being concluded satifactorally. I am gonna miss the current landlordies like the dickens, and really for all my bitching TFR is the worlds greatest roommate. But the size and temperature are getting to me. I REALLY miss my books and even though Jacko's is not alot bigger it is bigger. So I guess I should call and work on the details. Hmm wonder if he is awake yet.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:01 AM 0 comments

 
Well in the spirt of me being me I have decided to cave in, like a snow cave under a volcano I might add, so she wins. Not really sure what she is winning or what I am looseing. But this not talking is driveing me nuts. So basically what ever she wants. I am gonna stop objecting about her wanting to slow things down and I am gonna not mention moveing in or the wedding or anything. Hmm anyone else notice the closeness of wedding and weeding? Anyways, Ok fine. I will pledge to be a good little boy and completly forget anything I wanted and only smile and do as she asks. If she wants to wait for 6 months or six years then fine. So I give up. Call me a weenie if ya want but it all comes down to her happyness being more important than my discomfort. So I guess I am gonna have to change my schedual around so I no longer work on weekends. I probablly should not use winning or loosing as discriptions, but I am a very competive person so it coames naturaly. I should probally say she out stuborned me. heheh But anyways, I cave, what ever you want I will try and do. You just have to tell me what.
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:58 AM 0 comments

 
Oh and all you poor suckers on PC's got to go look at this site...

Here
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:43 AM 0 comments

 
"Happly drinking like a fish is fun, but did anyone ever ask a fish"

What a suprise I can't sleep. Being stubburn rarly has its rewards, and this is one of those times. I really need to get some direction in my life. Maybe tomarrow I will go buy a compas.
posted by Chuck Pierce 3:49 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, January 08, 2002

 
well 1 glass of wine, but as TFR would say YOUR A LIGHTWEIGHT
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:31 PM 0 comments

 
on hf drunk
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:31 PM 0 comments

 
Well I am sitting here on the group W bench waiting for people to get off their ass and talk to me. EVL and The Rev Doc and I are gonna play on HF for a bit. Assumeing I am sober enough to figure out how to tune this radio. This radio was a gift from a very very nice person. And far be it from me to put down something that was in fact givven to me, it still can be a real pain in the ass. Takes like 10 minutes to tune and drifts of freq if you look at it sideways. Hmm for all you non radio morouns it is like haveing to chase your favorite radio staion around on the dial as the car warms up. But hell it WORKS and it was free and I really should just smile nad be happy. But deep down inside I am really a miserable bastard who hides it well.
Sitting here waiting to talk to a few guys over the most annoying form os long distance communications you can imagine. Christ I need a new life. What a shame D rejected my ass. No news on that front btw. I havnt called her cause I did nothing wrong. She hasnt called me I am sure cause it is all my fault. Either that or she is waiting for good tv night. Sigh
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:56 PM 0 comments

 
Chucks law # 300012

Never attempt to put crunchy penut butter on crackers AFTER you have had a glass of wine.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:28 PM 0 comments

 
OK I will admit My sence of humour is stunted in many ways. Personally I blame my mother. If nothing else she had me so it all comes down to her fault. Well anyways The point I was os so subtly makeing is that my sence of humour is fairly predictable. There fore I am very amuseing that if I have a glass of wine (JUST ONE. THIS WEEK MIND YOU) all of a suddon I get the three stooges. Adda a whole new meaning to the concept of slapstick. or a whole new concept of meaning you choose. Anyways, I get it, so be scared.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:08 PM 0 comments

 
Well car is fixed. Transmision is still flaky though.. Anyways, blogger was acting up all afternoon thats mhy no posts. No clue what is up for tonite.. Maybe a movie or something.
posted by Chuck Pierce 5:51 PM 0 comments

 
Ice cubes suck.

People who get ice added to their drinks are morons.
Do you relise how much volume a glass full of cubes takes up? Ok so you just paid 2$ for a nice big Coke. And you automatically only get 1/2 of what I get when I ask for no Ice. Now the Coke is cold, so WTF do you want to dilute it with ice AND only get 1/2 of what you pay for. Does this make sence to you? It is not like adding ice makes the drink colder.. Cause well, it doesnt. You do not add ice into your orange juice, cause deluted O.J. Sucks. Well so does every other drink. Watch the automatic dispencers at fast food joints. If you ask for no ice they only fill it part way. So anyways, Ice sucks. And if I am gonna pay for a drink I want the drink not the water they get allmost for free. On that note, when you are in Mexico or any other 3rd world country dont add ice to your drink. Morons who only drink filtered water and then add local ice deserve what they get.
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:29 AM 0 comments

 
Well today the Taurus from hell is in the shop. Hopefully they will be done with it soon. So I drove TFR's car this morning.. Nice car but a florida car. So the tires SUCK for snow. And the windshield washer is frozen solid. So anyways, roads are messy and I could not see crap. So i stoped at MC'D's and got a lardge water in the drive through. And then poured it on the winshied. Worked great but they were not exactly happy with me. Ahh Screw em and OH minor rant...
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:16 AM 0 comments

 
Awe Jesus, Now I am in trouble. My Mommy found my journal.. Well she knew where it was but I guess she decided to finally read it. Ok well I stand by my original goal.. I am gonna continue to be myself on here period. And not gonna censor for anyone. So deal with it folks, ya don't like it go somewhere else. This is my place.. period.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:47 AM 0 comments

 
"If 15 +18 = 34 then I would be a year older now"

Putting some serious thought into moveing in with Jacko. So I figure I need to start to think like him again...
I am old tired and lonely, great way to start the day.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:12 AM 0 comments

Monday, January 07, 2002

 
hypothesis: I am a sick puppy.

Ok now there is a small chance that this is accidental. Like about the same odds that time warner "Really cares about your service"
But have you ever noticed that in every episode of Friends Jenifer Aniston has nips you could hang a CD on? And yes on that note is is possible to hang a CD on a nice set of nips. But really I do not go out of my way to watch friends alot. Hmmm whereas I can saftly say I do watch nips alot and I swear I just saw 10 mins of the show and I have NO idea what it was about. My whole concentration was trying to see if she was wearing a bra or not. The answer by the way was no in my opionion. Ok back to the real world...
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:30 PM 0 comments

 
Ok well droped off my poor car for some much needed work. The wheel bearing was going and though I dont mind if loose a tire I do if D is with me. Of course she is still not talking to me or something so moot point.
Got a nice email from mom asking me to do like 30 things on her comp.. All easy if I was in front of it, but damn hard when I am here. Ok well gonna read quetly and crash.
posted by Chuck Pierce 5:35 PM 0 comments

 
Well Apple talked about some nice new things.. And loads of fun. And we went and got the doors they needed.
BTW I keep forgetting to say HI to all the new folks. Thanks for your comments and emails. And I just have to ask, who goes to Strayer collage??? Other than that welcome all.
posted by Chuck Pierce 3:39 PM 0 comments

 
Well morning stuff is done and now I am sitting here waiting for the KEyNote from Macworld on Tech Tv with Jacko. He is actually at home but we have radios so we are chatting and makeing fun of the dumb stuff and comercials.
Then i am going out with the landlordess to pick up doors for the new house. Not really positive why I am going but I gather she needs a hand., NBD should be a fun ride.
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:47 AM 0 comments

 
Well still up. Couldnt go back to sleep. So cought up with all the webblogs I only goto when I remember. All kinds of neet stuff out there. Restless as hell, prob should not have had a can of coke to drink at 5 am you moron. We were out of water so I grabbed a can. Not to swift. Well Havnt really spoken to D for a week now. The XGF still has not found my Xmass stocking, or even called to say she hasnt since before Xmass. I will call her in the next few days when I am in the mood maybe. Bascially no one loves me and I am sitting here alone at my computer in the dark at almost 7 am. Pathetic if I might say so. Ok well just to accentuate the point I am now going to stand out side in my slippers and no bathrobe ( I left it at D's) and freeze my ass off while I am weak and have a smoke, In a snowstorm I might add. As I said, pathetic huh?
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:50 AM 0 comments

 
"And the wonder of it all, is you just dont relize how much I love you."

Life is playing tricks on me again not only do I have that song in my head but I wake up with hurting feet and flip on the history channel and it is infomercial time (Damn you history channel) and it is about arch supports. Growl.
Got some new snow, in fact it is still comiing, gonna be messy this morning. Hope D makes out the driveway ok. We are still not talking. She hasnt called me and I havnt called her. I am still not doing well on this slow down concept.
posted by Chuck Pierce 5:20 AM 0 comments

Sunday, January 06, 2002

 
LOng Long day. and my feet really hurt but we got some stuff done. God it seems like the more we do ther more there is to do on the house though.
posted by Chuck Pierce 5:38 PM 0 comments

 
STORM BABY....

WINTER STORM WATCH FOR TONIGHT
Includes the Counties: Coastal Cumberland, Coastal Rockingham, Coastal York

Includes the cities: Kennebunk, Portsmouth, Portland

Today...Cloudy with a chance of rain and snow showers. Highs near 40. Southwest wind 5 to 10 mph. Chance of precipitation 50
percent.

Tonight...Rain changing to snow around midnight. More than 6 inches of accumulation possible. Lows in the upper 20s. Southwest
wind 5 to 10 mph becoming northeast after midnight and increasing to 15 to 20 mph. Chance of precipitation 90 percent.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:18 AM 0 comments

 
"Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have."

OK well this is the first Sunday I have not set aside to spend with D since october 5 or something. She obviously thinks our relationship is a low priority so I am going on those lines ang going to spend the day working on the new house for Boydster. Not a problem. My current theory is If I am there she is miserable, if I am not then I am. Since I am big into self pity this week I am just staying away. Ok well screw it I am awake and exausted so I guess I should goto work. HEY BONUS its only 30 out.. WOOHOO I might not freeze my ass off all day. Wonder if it is gonna snow....?
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:10 AM 0 comments

Saturday, January 05, 2002

 
Hmm did not show the last post.. Wierd. Ok well bed time.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:55 PM 0 comments

 
Well just got home to my comp for the first time in a few days. Wow... 22 comments stored up. Holy crap. Long day, Jacko came out and was a great help but we still have so much to do. Anyways, time for food then a shower and bed.. Poof.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:30 PM 0 comments

 
Well about to get off work and start the real work.
Pretty sad actaully, here I do nothing at all and get paid real well for it. After noon I start working my ass off at the new house and I only get paid... Of course it is hard work and oh yea it is like 10 degrees outside. The house is closed in but no real heat yet. Such fun huh. But I do like it and it makes you think suprisingly. It also helps that tween boydo and I we do make a good team. It is great that he needs me so he gives me that extra bit of room before he gets mad at me.. very handy cause I can be annoying. It is amaxing that the stuff we bicker aboutis trivial but important. Usually why an outlet goes there or why it has to be symetrically oposed to the ones on the other wall. But then again his name is on the deed so I do what I am told most of the time at least. Ok well time to clean up here.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:49 AM 0 comments

 
"Pride goeth before the fall."

I got to stop resenting being disapointed. It really does not do much. She is not going to change her mind or her feelings just cause I want her to. So i guess I need to get over it. Sigh. I am so sick of getting over stuff.
posted by Chuck Pierce 12:13 AM 0 comments

Friday, January 04, 2002

 
Well it is allmost time for bed. And since I am at work I will not sleep real well tonite. I never do up here. I can't goto sleep withthe tv on since it will not shut itself off. The room gets light way to early. And I do try to sleep light to hear if there is a problem downstairs.
And it reminds me of an other thing. Please put on the rant hat.
Ok D needs her sleep. This is a given. And ok fine she does not sleep well when I am there. Ok fine. She says it is because of the pregnancy, ok fine. I on the other hand sleep better when I am with her. I do not suffer from insomnia, and I have been sleeping with the constant light and no TV. I also like sleeping in the quiet, but she runs an airfilter and humidifier...I was so happy that I was doing so well sleeping with her when the light and noise usually keeps me awake. But I had a bit of a cold and I guess I sniffled one night and she slept on the couch. So no more sleeping over. She has decided she only wants me to sleep over on the weekends when she can afford to loose sleep. Well i do not think she can ever afford to loose sleep so I guess I am going to be sleeping at home from now on. Not that I want to but if she is not sleeping with me around I will not be around. It all comes down to effort to me. I made the effort. She snorts all the time at night also, and I never say boo, ok she wakes me up, but I go back to sleep. She had a problem with me touching her when she was asleep cause it woke her up, well I am a naturally active sleeper.. I move alot and cuddle alot. So I spent the last 2 weeks or so sleeping over there sleeping on the edge of the bed. I mean ON the edge so I would not disturb here. I figured my discomfort was small if she was sleeping better. Well I guess sleeping at home on the floor in my blow up bed solves the problem also.
I am a bitter bitter old man. And I guess I want the imposable, someone who workes as hard to be with me as I am with them.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:22 PM 0 comments

 
Well I just had an happy hour watching a movie i allways assumed I would hate.. And I almost liked it. Happy Gilmore. The clincher was Julie Bowen who I liked but could not place.. drove me nuts so i had to call Jacko and have him help me find out why....She is Carol Vessey on Ed.. Duh, I knew I knew her from somewhere...
Anyways I am ashamed to say I liked it.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:00 PM 0 comments

 
Well I just had to have a conversation I did not want to have. I just had to tell the land lord we were not going to take the house when they moved out. Bad for me and bad for them. It means that alot of the things I was going to slowly fix over the winter now have to be rushed up. Since they are building the new house they do not exactly have loads of time to play with so it was rough. And it is sad for me because even though I really do not like the house design I lust after the basement and the garage. Oh well, I guess it is job security cause now they need my help even more. Sigh. HEheh Almost time to ask for a raise. hehehe
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:19 PM 0 comments

 
I guess this is all flash back time. WHen the XGF left me it was cause she had to chose tween me and her family. Not the choice I was asking her to make but the one they were. I could not believe she would throw away all we had but she did. So fine. Now I feel like it just happened again. She had to choose tween us advancing together or staying in place and or going way back. And to me the choice is a nobrainer. But I also have no choices. I need her she does not need me. She can raise a child single handed, she is doing it now. I am exrtasuperflouse. And the sad thing is now I find myself thinking about what happens when she decides we are through. DO I fight to take the baby? I have allways thought that people who did that should be shot. But you can not split custody of a child. So I do not know the answer to that one yet. But I do know this, when I asked her to marry me I did it for the right reasons. Not for the kid to be but because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I guess I shouldnt have cause that just put more pressure on her. Where we are going I do not know. But I sure wish I did.
Ok I am sure I have gotten myself in enough trouble for one day. Sigh not like she will say anything here. I am sure I will have lots of emails waiting when I get home late sat night.
posted by Chuck Pierce 2:49 PM 0 comments

 
I told her she needed to figure out what she wanted to do with us, so I guess I should not resent so much the way she decided. I know she is preggers and if any one does not think that makes you clinically insane let me show you the light. But she is pushing things off till she is due or almost due and I just think that is insane. She does not want to move the IF. Ok he is HER son. I have no say in it. I can understand and abide by it. But she is so wrong in my opionion. He has made major improvemtns in the last 8 months and I did not spend any time with him before he improved so much. But she is giveing all the credit to school and I think that is a small part of it. It is in my opionion a simple fact that changeing schools in kindergarden is such a short lived trama. And she wants to keep him in a school system that has been good to him, but one I know sucks BAD as you go up. Ok now true I do not believe that school will make the child, I think it is the family who does most of the teaching. But no one will convince me that staying in a 3 room apartment where you allways have to be quiet and he has no yard to play in is better than a large place where he can play and have friends over to play and even have a dog. But this is a dead issue. She wants to stay where she is and I have no choices but to accept. But forewarning. I do not care how much she likes the school system, I spent time in it when I was young and ther eis no WAY my child will be going to school there. All I want is to have a change to be happy. And I know that there are a few things that have to happen. 1. we need a place we can both live in. 2. we have to be able to afford it. 3. we have to abide by the concept of being toghether not being apart. 4. it has to be a team effort.
Currently it is not a team. She decides what she wants and I cave in to what ever she wants. Ok true I rarly try to give my opionion becuase she automatically shoots anything I like to shit. If I say how about this she works SO HARD to find why it can not be done instead of why it can be. So I just let her decide and then resent it. Wow that sound so healthy doesnt it.
posted by Chuck Pierce 2:40 PM 0 comments

 
Well took a nap and the world does not look better.
I used to come home so excited to see if I had an email from her, now I know if I do it will be her mad at me about something. I used to be so excited when she asked me to come over, now I dread what it is I am going to be yelled at for now. (no, she does not yell, but you get the point)
She is I guess right in that something is wrong latley. But I do not know what it is or how to help it. This whole last week of being apart happened after sunday. I spent the morning with her watching movies and playing with lego's . I had a blast. But she twisted off after lunch saying I had been nasty to her all day and saying mean things.
I guess what really upsets me latly is two things. First that I want nothing more than to make her happy and to be with her, so why she allways assumes the worst on anything I say pisses me completly off. There is allways 2 ways to look at things, and she allways assumes I am saying the worse. Secound I guess is that when ever ther eis a conflict over anything. My answer is to sovle it so we can be together. Hers is to solve it so we can be apart. This allso drives me nutso, I am so sick of every change every compramise being mine. If she does not like something I change it. If i say I do not like something she sometimes says I can change it. But she never does. It all comes down to actions versus bable. I am not big into believeing words. People lie, and words lie. But actions really show alot. If it comes down to some one saying they care and doing a small thing they know I would like, there is no doubt which one I stand behind.
posted by Chuck Pierce 2:27 PM 0 comments

 
I think I have decided I am going to learn how to drink heavly.
You can get Pizza delivered, a new bed, Hell a new tv even. Can you get booze delivered??? And a corkscrew. Hmm no I got my knife, I don't need no stinking corkscrew.
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:35 AM 0 comments

 
It all keeps coming back for her (or it seems to me) to be am I doing this for her or the baby. And I can't help wondering why does it matter? Why can't I do it for both. I want children, and I want a happy family life. period, this is not debatable. Ok so since we have #1 happening already why can we not have # 2. Hell I was happy to a point for years liveing with someone who was more comfortable than anything else. Is D the perfect person for me to marry? I do not know. Is she the perfect woman of my dreams? Well since most of my dreams were based on her she is damn close. But the point is I am willing to "settle" a bad choice of words but you get the point. All I want is to be happy and I am not happy if she is miserable. So fine we will do things her way. And I will try and smile and act like this is what I want to be doing. And hell, it could have been worse I guess she could have told me to go away and not come back. Least now us being a unit is postponed not cancled.
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:20 AM 0 comments

 
So anyways D has decided we need to slow down. She does not want to move to the house here that the landlords are offering at a great price to us. She has her reasons, and even though I do not agree with them I can understand them. In fact as far as I understand everything at the moment is on hold. No wedding date, no plans to abode together, just going back to the dateing stuff.
Sigh. Ok now she had a valid point in OCT that I was going slow. Ok fine. Well I stoped. I put all my energy into US and it has now bombed I guess. So now I guess I just go back to leting her feel her way along. I am not a very emotional person. I have to work on it and make an effort. It took some effort for me to get to the point where I was willing to do allmost anything so we could be together, but I got there and now I guess I need to go back to the "I am actually alone" state of mind.
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:14 AM 0 comments

 
OK I am holding on to my temper this morning. But just barely. Once again my stuff is screwed with up here. I guess Kev took out his lamp downstairs and rather than go get him a new one they stole the lampshade off mine.. WRONG. NOT HAPPENING. I brought over a lamp so I could read. I for a strange reason can not read welll under a 100 watt bare lamp. Lets see what else, Oh yea the KB is broke. #2 for up here. Yea I have 50 kb's in sttorage but that is not the point. ADB kb's do not grow on tree's anymore. Frankly I think I am just done. Done with being nice and helping others and done with not putting myself first. So screw you all. I bought a imac for xmass for d and the IF and I. Well she has not pluged it in, turned it on, or even moved it. So she obviously has no interest in it. Since we are not going to be moveing anytime soon there will be no room for it so screw it I am going to grab it and bring it up here with me when I come. I will take the table chair lamp and computer here home. I am just so sick of being the nice guy who gets sat on.
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:08 AM 0 comments

 
"The more things change the more they stay the same."

Well last night mostly sucked. D has decided we need to slow things down some. I am not mad but I am very disapointed. Lets just rearrange Chucks life once more and see if he implodes.. Off to work up N today so I am sure I will be posting alot.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:34 AM 0 comments

Thursday, January 03, 2002

 
Well went up flying again today. The camera (35 mm) I guess ate yesterdays film. No prob flying is fun anyways. Good flight though. Going over to see D tonite for the first time since Sun. Hope all is well.
posted by Chuck Pierce 3:43 PM 0 comments

 
"When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."

TFR gave me some great one liners to use as needed on here.. So I a am. Thanks TFR.
I slept like a rock. I am feeling 100% better than yesterday. My sinus's are clearing up and I can breath again and I slept through the night. Not going out last night was a really good idea. I was pretty sure I was makeing the right call and I definatly was cause I am awake this morning and yest it took me till noon to stop yawning.
OK well time to get ready to go. Outside temp 13.8.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:15 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, January 02, 2002

 
Im am home alone trying to figure out the limits I can take and be happy. Sigh. Sometimes being me sucks. But it could allways be worse at this point I still am allowed to try and be happy.
This is not turning out to be a good year and I want you all to know it is all your fault. You are all here to entertain me damn it so start to juggle or something.
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:18 PM 0 comments

 
Oh and I have been pretty good about not talking about it on here, but did I mention I am in the dog house again?. Sigh. D is mad at me. So I am staying back at home, or well not going over to her place at all till she decides that is what she wants. I think I am going to stay here 6out of 7 nights anyways from now on. The Her aprtment thing was really getting to me and I do not feel like it is my place at all. So I guess TFR is going to have to put up with me some more. We have an option on a new house that is going to expire in a few days, but she has not made up her mind yet. Or maybe she has by now I ahve not talked to her since Sunday.
posted by Chuck Pierce 3:47 PM 0 comments

 
Ok and now the bummer post. I lost a friend this weekend. N1IJD, Steve Libby, a good friend of mine died on the 31'st. He was a quiet very regular guy who lived to work, help his Mom and play on the radio. We called him lovingly Crome Dome, and he will be sorly missed at every field day and ham gathering. And it is petty and I should just shut up but I am also bummed I had jusst on thanksgiveing taken a tower down for him to add to his tower. And now I guess it is a moot point. Sigh. Steve, I know you are out there lurking so hope your at peace.
(We all have differnt ways of annoncing our presence on the radio. I am famous for my "Boop Boop Baadoop, Yellow Radio" and Steve allways used "N1IJD lurking.")
posted by Chuck Pierce 3:42 PM 0 comments

 
Well fun afternoon. Went up flying in a friends plane and just cruised around a bit. We took a crap load of pics mostly of the house I have been working on but also a few of the Rev. Doc.s house. Had fun. John my friend is and or can be the worlds 2nd most annoying guy. But he is a really really good pilot and that makes it fun. About as much fun as you can have in a ceasna 152. It is a small plane. I mean small. Your shoulders touch size small.
posted by Chuck Pierce 3:37 PM 0 comments

 
Well stoped over at Jacko's and kiboshed some plans he had to denude the local area of trees. Now I am gonna change and then go flying for a bit. Ceasna 152 is small but it does fly well....
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:38 AM 0 comments

 
Some people say genious is 99% persperation 1% insperation. I believe it is 1% persperation 99% being a lazy bum.

Still got a cold but i actually sleept last night fairly well. Woohoo.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:05 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, January 01, 2002

 
What a day. dead tired. I have now added 2750 ft of wire in the new house.. egadds.
posted by Chuck Pierce 5:33 PM 0 comments

 
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times"
To one and all a happy new year and I hope the good things are are prolific and the bad times are diminutive.
posted by Chuck Pierce 12:19 AM 0 comments

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